A friend sent me a picture of a pair of rutabagas. I use the word friend here in the context of someone who would not knowingly run me over with a truck. Beyond that, I don't trust him.
Now rutabagas look like what I imagine a potato would look like if it got bit by a zombie. In the old days getting bit by a zombie was no easy thing to do, they were so slow you literally had to throw yourself into their mouths to get bit. Or, as an alternative, be a stationary root vegetable like rutabagas. So now I'm stuck with a picture of rutabagas, a guy I got trust issues with, and no real idea how to safely get rid of either one of them. It's a real problem.
But first, we need to answer the age-old question, who's the first guy that looked at a rutabaga and said, “Yeah, I think I'll put that in my mouth”?
Was it the same guy who first slurped raw oysters?
Or put chocolate on ants?
Paleontologists think these things may have coincided with a mass extinction event but can't be sure until we find a cave drawing of a Neanderthal at a buffet. Speaking of cave drawings, we should point out that no one has ever found a cave drawing of a salad.
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